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Captain, an unidentified ship approaching. Over.

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Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.

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It's the late show, pot show with Stephen Colbert.

Folks, before, we get started with the next bit of the show here, I just want to take a second to say,

happy teacher appreciation week.

Now, we love the teachers.

If you want to support America's hardworking teachers, and I know you do, head over to

DonorsChoose.org using this little QR code right there.

It's an amazing organization that allows you to pick specific cool classroom needs or programs that you want to support,

be it school supplies or musical instruments or whatever, and you will know that every dime goes right to that class.

And maybe you got a nice

letter back from the kids, okay? So head over to Donor's Shoes.org and show America's

teachers the love they deserve. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Folks, if you watch this show,

you'll know I spend a lot of my time right over there sourcing and placing the most topical seasonal news, Dahlia's Roses, and Rununculus in mirrored vases with story accent collars to create the spectacular Rachel Cho luxury floral arrangement that is my nightly monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, after huffing nine cans of compressed air dusters,

I rip dandelion weeds out of the sidewalk and slap them in an empty can of pineapple, coconut,

Malibu, and offer you the burnout bouquet of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile.

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