From the host house, whoever you are, there's a welcome there for Ruth and Faye, Mahamadan Jose.

From the host house, whether it's work, rest or play, listen to my podcast.

It's packed full of meaty goodness. From the host house, with Alan Partridge.

There's a welcome there for straight and K, and he and she and they, from the host house.

From the host house, the Alan Partridge podcast series three.

Now, subscription required. See Orderboard.co.uk for turns.

If you know we like to have good guests for our audience, it's always very important.

And we don't let people down here. On Monday, we have a young man you may have heard of Mr. Tom Hanks is going to be here on Monday.

That is, we call that Hollywood royalty. But then on Tuesday, we have actual royalty because Prince Harry is going to be sitting right there.

Come on. To talk about his new book Spare. That's the book right there. Spare. It's either a gripping tell-all about the royal family or a book of handy bowling tips.

Tune in to find out once again. Tuesday. Yes. In a late night exclusive, right? That's an exclusive, right Tom? That's an exclusive.

Prince Harry, you're right there on this show. So, stock up on Corgis and steal a priceless cultural treasure from one of your colonies because the late show is going imperial, okay?

No, folks, I spend most of my time right over there melting down the day's biggest news stories into a fine topical brass, which I cast into an engraved case on an ebonized plinth with an enampled dial and visible escapement to create the exquisite Bruco de la Trez mantle clock that is my monologue.

But sometimes, sometimes folks, I crashed a stolen dune buggy into a clam shack, mainline some ever-clear snap a fin off a propeller of an abandoned fishing boat and stick it to a dirty frisbee with some chewing gum from a bus station urinal to set out the transient crackpot sundial of news that is my segment.

That's right there. It's a message of hope is what that is.

Meanwhile, according to a new study, procrastination can make you depressed and poor. But you know what? It's late, you're tired, be depressed and poor tomorrow.

Researchers reach their conclusion after studying the procrastination habits of Swedish university students and we have one of the Swedes video interviews here.

Meanwhile, ever since Daniel Craig announced he was done as James Bond producers have been hunting for a new actor to take over the role, naming only three criteria, British male and 30-something. Damn it. If only I were British.

Well, we got big news this week and reports emerged that there is a front runner to play Bond, Aaron Taylor Johnson. Sorry, I meant Johnson.

Taylor Johnson. Aaron Taylor Johnson. Meanwhile, a Wisconsin canal was clogged by melted butter after a dairy plant fire.

Well, why should Wisconsin's canals be any different than everyone who lives there? Meanwhile, gas station heroin was just banned in Ohio.

That headline again, something called gas station heroin has been legal in Ohio this whole time.

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