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The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Meanwhile… Mammoth Meatballs | Crabs Are People

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

CBS

News, Comedy, Comedy Interviews, News Commentary, Tv & Film

4.41.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2023

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Meanwhile… Scientists grew meatballs from woolly mammoth DNA, researchers have determined there’s no way to equitably split the filling in an Oreo cookie, PETA is urging people to start respecting crabs, and ramen lovers have a new flavor that’s perfect for breakfast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

It's the late show's hot show with Stephen Colberg.

0:06.0

Um, okay, uh, folks, uh, you know, if you watch the show, you know, I spend most of my

0:13.3

time right over there, harvesting the days, find a story marble, carving it into the most

0:18.5

topical columns and pediments, then adding thematic statuary to unveil for you the breath-taking

0:23.3

Greek mausoleum that is my monologue, but sometimes I wake up in the woods inside half a broken

0:28.5

baby pool, lashed that to the housing of a discarded dishwasher with an abandoned rug

0:32.7

twine, then climb in and huff a bag of Nyquil and acetone and the metheads crank tomb

0:37.8

of news that is my segment.

0:39.6

Meanwhile, that's the only crank I need right there.

0:51.1

Meanwhile, a new study says, drugs and alcohol do not make you more creative.

0:58.9

The study of courtesy of Dr. Benjamin Buzzkill, meanwhile, we hear at the meanwhile military

1:06.9

lubricants and basketball repair factory sometimes come across a story about meat that

1:12.4

is so important.

1:13.4

So dare I say, juicy, that we give that story its own meanwhile sub-segment, meat-while.

1:22.6

Hold on to your tenderloin because a synthetic meat company has just created a meatball from

1:30.1

the long extinct mammoth, to which dads everywhere said, it's fine, the extinction date

1:36.9

is just a suggestion.

1:40.4

The reanimated meatwad is part of a project that aims to mix and match cells from unconventional

1:47.0

species to create new kinds of meat.

1:50.9

It was already an experimental food institute doing that.

1:53.9

They're called Taco Bell.

1:56.9

All right?

...

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