If the late show's hot show with Stephen Colberg.

Folks, I spend most of my time roaming the Swiss news, Alps hurting the day's finest

Simmental story cattle to harvest the most topical cuts which I pair with the reduction of

shallot and barrel-aged Portuguese wine to serve you the Madeira de Jean Tenderlain

that is my monologue, but sometimes I'm hosed to wake behind a condemned retirement home.

Grab a fistful of discarded lunch meets, toss them into a busted blender with crushed

up Pepto Bismalvin, pour the slurry into an old baby sock to offer you the trick-and-nella

tainted drifter sausage of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile, amid a student housing shortage, California State Polytechnic University at

Humboldt is considering putting students on a barge, though it is possible that class

work could be affected by housing students on a barge.

Uh, Professor Sharman, the paper was late, my dorm had run a load of box-ite to Singapore.

Meanwhile, in theaters this weekend, cocaine bears box office came dangerously close to

taking number one.

While in my front yard this weekend, once again, methraccoon came dangerously close to

taking my car.

You've got a problem.

Take some action.

Meanwhile, we here at Meanwhile Ballistic Laser Systems in GoGurt Imagineering sometimes

come across so many stories about the royal family that we collect them in our meanwhile

sub-segment, Sovereign While.

Sovereign While, according to reports, the King's coronation is in crisis.

...