If the late show's hot show with Stephen Colberg.

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time in the old news kitchen

seasoning the finest, most topical gander with sage and celery salt before leaving it

over a small ring maple and pecan wood fire held to precisely 225 degrees Fahrenheit until

I'm ready to serve you the flawlessly smoked to lose goose that is my monologue, but sometimes

folks, I crash my getaway zamboni into a culvert by the port after skinning over a rabbit

skunk, dalsit with the half a chalula packet in my pants and some pine needles to offer

you the outlaw roadkill of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile, according to a new study, snakes can hear you scream.

Oh, that's good.

They just don't care.

Meanwhile, we hear at Meanwhile industrial smelting and vending machine repair sometimes

encounters so many dong-focused stories that we collect them all in our meanwhile sub-segment

Pienwile.

Pienwile archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be the first Roman dildo.

If along to Rome's most iconic emperor, Julius please her.

Thank you.

Let's take a look at the dildo.

Now that.

My friends is a museum quality wood.

Fun fact, that dildo went on to be used by Mickey Mantle to win the 1956 World Series.

Apparently the fallacy is 16 centimeters long, but researchers say it was probably larger

...