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It's the Late Show Pacho with Stephen Colbert.

Folks, if you watch the show, you know, I spend most of my time right over there in the

news kitchen, carefully whisking Comte and Parmigiano cheeses into simmering milk from the Montabellard

de cows, then blending them with gently whipped marans chicken egg whites, which I bake and a

Bameh and serve with champagne to offer you the delicate

and sophisticated Alandukas double cheese souffle that is my monologue. But sometimes I'm

caught awake by squirrels inside an abandoned Kroger where I scrape the liquid cheese from a discarded

handy snack into a half-empty jar of quso and add scrapings from a dried-out

block of velvita and then

heated up in a stray dog's armpit

before chowing down on the derelix

gutter fondue of news that is my segment

Meanwhile

Ah

...