The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

How close you think you came to just eat it? You just almost ate it. Almost ate it.

That would have been so bad.

But it did something for Kelsey Grammer, right? We all remember when he ate shit famously off

that at one stage. Next year, finding Neverland called him up. Hey, are you,

are you Frazier and also the guy who ate shit off that one stage? Love that dude.

You're really good. Do you think if you'd brought up the stage, like, Frazier would have called you?

And just like, hey, you're in the club. Welcome to the club. That's not how the show starts.

You're right. So hold on. Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother,

I'm Ian Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

And I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis McElroy.

And I'm your sweet baby brother in 30 under 30, media luminary, Griffin McElroy.

I'm sorry for the faces I made during the first 30 seconds or so of us being on stage. We ate a lot of

velvet taco. But the important thing is not how much we ate, I would argue, but in fact, the timeline

in which we ate it, because they'd arrived five minutes ago, we slammed it. We have been making noises

that are not the traditional... Toots and burps. But new sounds, exciting sounds from new places.

New fresh sounds. Yeah, like if you fill the bagpipe with Jello and maybe some GAC from the 90s,

we made a glomp and it came from my chest. My elbow made a slurps, then. We had a, this is not a joke.

We had a pretty serious two-minute conversation backstage where we try to think if we could make

...