MATT283 - Lady Gaga Is Personally Responsible For Destroying My Backyard and I Haven't Received a Penny
The Ten Minute Bible Hour Podcast
Matt Whitman
4.9 • 2.2K Ratings
🗓️ 16 December 2020
⏱️ 12 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | A few years back my backyard flooded and so I had to bring in heavy equipment and dig this big drain |
| 0:14.8 | and add up this drain rock and I had to regraid my whole backyard but it was cool |
| 0:18.6 | because I got to use an excavator and a skid steer and I'm working on that with my headphones on one day and Edge of Glory by Lady |
| 0:26.9 | Gaga comes on while I'm in there working in my excavator and it's just so |
| 0:31.4 | catchy and there's so much power in that excavator and I already |
| 0:35.0 | had all the markings done before I dig so I could do whatever I wanted in the backyard and I was |
| 0:39.0 | like you know what it's time I'm gonna go over here with this machine right now and I'm going to dig the trout pond that I drew in Miss Macmahan's third grade class when she had a straw our ideal dream home that we would want to have as an adult and I drew one with the trout pond in the backyard and I'm going to have that right now and I took the first shovel worth of dirt out and I was like yes I am on the edge of glory and then I dug more and I was like I'm on the edge here of glory and I dug this whole |
| 1:03.4 | giant thing and I was like that it's this is perfect except it would be double |
| 1:08.2 | perfect if it were twice as big and so then I dug even more and now I had a |
| 1:12.1 | gigantic trout pond in my backyard |
| 1:14.3 | with no plan whatsoever for how you run a trout pond or how you line it because I |
| 1:20.1 | literally only thought of doing this just right then on the spot. |
| 1:25.0 | So over the next few weeks, there was a lot of work that went into learning about pond liners, |
| 1:30.0 | and ultimately I discovered that if I had stopped at the first hole, I would have been fine because there were pond liners that are made for that hole that you can just order as a normal person. |
| 1:40.0 | But because I dug the second half of the pond, I now had to make a gigantic seam that would make it so that two of these |
| 1:47.6 | pond liners would cover the one chuk of pond and so I bought all that stuff and I put the seam in there and I put the sticky texture stuff on it and I filled it up with water and I was like that ought to work and I just watched it drain before my eyes. I was not even close. Oh man, so then I pay for all this other stuff and I get the like, what do you call it? The stuff they advertise on TV where the guy takes the black slime and he puts it over a screen door and then he can use it as a boat because it seals everything up. |
| 2:17.0 | I bought that stuff and I painted over all of it and I filled it back up with water and now it drained super fast except there were little chunks of black |
| 2:24.4 | go up floating all over the place that I had to go through and pick out by hand. |
| 2:28.3 | And this pond turned out to be a metaphor that is equal to chasing your problems and creating more problems that |
| 2:36.1 | could only be equaled by that old lady who swallowed the fly song. It was comical |
| 2:40.9 | how much money and time I squandered on this thing before eventually I |
| 2:44.8 | did figure it out and made for a really cool beautiful pond in my backyard and |
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