Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest tonight is a very funny man who stars on one of my favorite shows of all time. VEEP.

I engineered Selena crying on camera. I'm the puppet master. I'm Pinocchio.

Pinocchio wasn't the puppet master, Mike. He was the puppet.

Ah, yeah, he was. Five-year-old Skeetness.

Please welcome Matt Wallace. I heard you guys are starting up a fraternity. I want in.

Listen to me. There is no fraternity. I don't even know what you're talking about. You listen to me.

I need this, okay? My wife, my job, my kids, every day is exactly the same. Oh, I go golfing on Sundays.

I hate golf. Guys, you're killing us here, seriously.

Let's get the ladies moving.

Listen, just give me, give me a second.

Rate of play, rate of play, rate of play, rate of play, rate of play, rate of play.

You know what, um, why don't we, uh, why don't we just pick it up and move down the fairway?

Start the fire, buddy Come on man

Play some from a stranger

We strictly do

80's Joel music, sir

And why you needed me to

Hey listen

We only sing 80s

We only sing 80s Joe

But take your skate cooker wife

And get the fucking out of here The Bloodwork came in this morning. They found a large amount of roofillin in your system. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything. Ha ha! Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remember? You kept talking about some wedding that you just came from at the best little chapel. Best Little Chapel. You know where that is? I do. It's at the corner of Get a Map and f*** off. I'm here with another eyewitness who has his own version of what happened. Sir, what did you see? I think you're great, Charlotte. I saw something fall from the sky right in the middle of Central Park. I mean, you're a great news lady.

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