(Matt Monday): Why You're ADDICTED to Emotionally Unavailable People (and How to Break the Habit)

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2023

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When it comes to the traits we want in a partner, “emotionally unavailable” is never on the list. So why do so many of us end up dating not just one emotionally unavailable person, but a series of them?

When someone feels slightly out of reach, our instinct is often to chase them down and make them ours . . . but this is often an unwinnable bet, where we risk losing not only our hearts, but also our time.

In today’s new episode, I get to the heart of what goes on when we keep finding ourselves getting stuck on emotionally unavailable people, and how we can break the pattern and find someone who’s ready for a relationship.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	And I have watched people run out the clock by continuing to entertain the short term fix
0:06.5	over what it is they're really looking for long term.
0:10.3	When you say that you want to find love, how serious are you?
0:35.9	I recently had someone come to me about a guy she had met.
0:40.5	This woman is in her 30s.
0:42.8	She is very serious.
0:44.8	She says about finding love, about having a family, and about building a life with someone.
0:49.4	It's something she wants the most in her life right now where she's at.
0:54.5	The guy that she described having met on a night out with her friends who is hot and
1:01.6	charming and they have chemistry and she has a great time with and did I mention he's
1:07.3	hot as one small detail that made me take a pause.
1:16.2	He's 21.
1:20.8	Now when she was asking me for advice with this guy, the first thing I wanted to remind
1:26.6	her of was her goals.
1:29.4	You want to find love, you want to get married and you want to have a family.
1:34.0	Now when she described this guy and the things that were causing her some anxieties, one
1:43.4	of them was that she had talked about the fact that she wants marriage and kids and he
1:48.0	hadn't thought about it, which of course he hadn't.
1:52.4	He's 21.
1:53.5	It didn't stop him aggressively pursuing her and asking for a lot of her time and her
1:58.8	energy and it didn't stop her from wanting to give that time and that energy because
2:06.4	did I mention his heart.
	...

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