But if you feel like every time you're the person before the person.

The story of your life is that people don't change for you. Oh, This is one of the most painful experiences you can go through in your love life. So leave me a comment if this has happened to you.

You and another person ended up parting ways because of changes that they couldn't make.

And then once you were broken up... that they ended up making

ended up making those changes for someone else.

The pain of this is profound and exquisite.

When we were with that person, we consoled ourselves on the idea that,

well, we just wanted different things, or this person is incapable of being what I need.

But then that one comfort that we have, the one thing that allowed us to sleep at night once we had left that person or been left by that person, disintegrates in the light of this new information that they were capable of that

change and that they did make that change they just did it for someone else and this cuts to the core of our self-worth because

suddenly the attention gets turned on us. What's wrong with me?

I am Matthew Hussey, welcome back to the channel,

or welcome to the channel for everyone who is new.

I am the author of the New York Times best-selling new book Love Life and for the last 17 years

I've been doing what it says on this book helping people to raise their standards

find their person and live happily no matter what.

So let's talk about this phenomenon.

They changed, they just didn't change for us.

And I want to talk about it using a question that came to me from one of my

love life members in one of our live sessions. So I'll read this question and then we will get

into the answer in three parts.

By the way, if you're enjoying me answering these love life member questions in these videos,

...