There are people who try to come across as rare by being aloof and distant and unavailable,

and there are people who show that they are rare by being awesome. Why is it that dating today can feel nearly impossible for so many people?

Much has been said on the topic of how hard dating is today.

I am probably in the camp of people that accepts that there are

some very challenging things about it but I choose not to live in this idea that it is

impossible. Instead I look at why it is that for so many people it's so difficult

and what we can do to have a very different experience of it ourselves. Today is an important topic because I believe so many of us have

been going about dating all wrong and one of the things I think is going on culturally for so many people

right now is that there's this kind of race to the bottom in terms of effort. It feels like there's

so much competition. It feels like there's so much competition.

It feels like everyone's at this buffet online

and we all want to come across like we're cool and in control,

we're not going to make ourselves vulnerable too quickly

because God forbid I give more than you do or I show you that I like you more than you

like me for a lot of people there's that fear of if I'm too available, if I don't look like I've got a really

busy life with things going on all the time and I'm never really available and you're going

to have to chase me, that you're not going to be interested.

And so it has us all playing this game of who can be the most aloof and that the

grand prize of love is going to be given to the number one most aloof.

And that's the worst way to make ourselves valuable is to be aloof.

On some level, we know that we're all

looking for something that feels rare, right? We're looking for someone who's a

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