(Matt Monday): Should You Lower Your Standards?

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2022

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As we roll into the New Year, it seems like as good a time as any to talk about our standards. We think of a new year as being a time where we reset our standards, don’t we?

And yet, have you ever worried that you’re being too picky?

And have you ever wondered if this “pickiness” is the thing that’s stopping you from finding a relationship?

I was on stage when a woman stood up and asked: “Matthew, should I listen to my mum and lower my standards?”

It’s a hard thing trying to figure out if the reasons you are rejecting people are valid, or if they represent an “unreasonable” standard that you need to let go of.

I hope this provides a little clarity...

Happy Holidays again, friend. I’m thinking of you more than ever right now.

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►► Discover the Text Messages That Get You Off Your Phone and Into a REAL Relationship… → http://MomentumTexts.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	If I go on a date with someone and I feel like there's a mean edge to them, I'm out.
0:07.1	Like I'm just not interested.
0:15.9	Hey everyone, it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here.
0:33.2	I think you're going to enjoy this clip. It's a classic from the archives. Check it out and
0:37.6	don't forget if you can leave us a review on iTunes. It would mean the world. It helps us spread
0:42.0	the word about this podcast. All right, let's get into the episode.
0:49.3	So I've been told that I have really high standards and my mom of all people told me to lower my
0:56.2	standards a little bit because I can be nitpicky a bit. Like I can get a text message saying how are
1:02.4	you but then it's spelled out where the letters are and you and I'm like, oh this is not going to work out.
1:07.5	Yeah, no, I got it. Because reading and writing is like a huge part of my life and reading that kind
1:13.6	of text message is like blasphemy for me. So I get it. In this context. So what's your question
1:20.1	is when is your standard too high? No, my question here would be like in this context, should I listen
1:26.2	to my mom and lower my standards? Okay, there's two aspects to this. One is we have to look again,
1:35.1	self-awareness. What are the things that are really important to me? Okay, I know that for me,
1:42.0	kindness is everything. Everything. If I go on a date with someone and I feel like there's a
1:50.7	mean edge to them, if I get on a date and they're already gossiping about people in a nasty way,
1:59.1	I'm out. Like I'm just not interested. It's not even that I'm sitting there judging someone
2:07.6	intensely. I just kindness is so, so, so important to me that it doesn't matter how attractive
2:14.8	someone is in every other way. If they don't show that, I don't want to know. You have to decide
2:24.0	what your deal breakers are. What are the things that you can't live without? And is someone saying,
2:33.6	are or you a reflection of genuinely bad, a low level of eloquence? Is it really reflective of
2:43.5	someone who cannot articulate ideas well or is it someone just writing quickly? I guess, well,
	...

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