(Matt Monday): How to Break the Cycle & STOP Chasing the WRONG Person

Love Life With Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why do we keep crashing into the same walls in love? In this conversation with Chris Williamson on his Modern Wisdom podcast, we explore the patterns that keep us stuck—whether it’s chasing unavailable partners, mistaking chaos for passion, or repeating cycles that leave us unfulfilled. We also talk about why these behaviors feel so familiar and how they’re often rooted in our past experiences rather than our actual desires.

But here’s the good news: Breaking free is possible. And in this episode, you’ll learn how to rewire your instincts and create a new reality where peace and connection replace anxiety and uncertainty.

►► Plan big, stay focused, and see your year at a glance with the Big A## Calendar. Use code LOVELIFE for 10% off at thebigasscalendar.com/discount/LOVELIFE

►► Grab your in-person or virtual ticket to the Weekend Retreat: MHRetreat.com

►► Join the Love Life Club: JoinLoveLife.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	When you talk about dating, people like, oh, dating, I don't want to date.
0:03.0	But when you talk about finding love, it's hard for people to say,
0:07.0	that's not something that's important to you. Isn't it interesting that there's a lot of content on the internet at the moment about dating, mating dynamics and stuff. Almost no one ever talks about love. Like, it's very
0:40.7	rare. If you look at the most popular channels on YouTube, even mine to some extent, you know,
0:47.4	it's this quite sort of sterile, transactional, commercial value-for-value exchange. That's what people are talking about.
0:57.7	They're talking about it in this sort of like performatively autistic, like you give me the
1:02.8	thing and I give you the thing and our values meet. Like it's like it's a currency of some
1:09.0	kind. And so rarely do we actually talk about,
1:12.1	like, how does this make you feel? And what's the love between you two people like?
1:18.6	And I think, I think that that is a conversation that's wildly missing from a lot of,
1:23.8	a lot of this talk. It's why I why I've started talking in terms of finding love because
1:31.3	I just, you know, for me, most people who genuinely deeply want to find love, they don't
1:40.8	really want to date. You know, like they, they don't, they want to find love. I don't, they want to find they want to find love. I didn't want to, you know, like, when I was being more intentional in my love life, it's not like dating was the most appealing thing in the world to me. I didn't, I'm an introvert. I don't want to leave the house most of the time. So the idea that I have to go and talk to a person in order to end up in a relationship
2:02.5	with them is like, feels like an annoying step.
2:05.9	But finding love is something we, I truly believe pretty much all of us want.
2:12.7	Like we, on the deep, deep human level, we want to find love.
2:18.1	And when you frame it, when you talk about dating, people like,
2:23.9	oh, dating, I don't want to date.
2:26.1	But when you talk about finding love, it's hard for people to say,
2:29.7	that's not something that's important to me.
2:33.1	And the whole point of this book was to show people, even if you've struggled for years and
2:40.3	years in this area, even if it feels like nothing's working, or if it feels like what you
	...

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