This is exactly right.

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear

When you're a guest in my home

You gotta come to me empty-handed

I said no gifts your presence is presents enough

And I already had too much stuff

So how do you dare disobey me?

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weinerger Wyniger. I can type 70 words per minute, and I'm proficient in nothing.

What's going on? What's happening? Well, you know, I thought the podcast was recording about four hours ago,

so I left the house very early. Thank God I didn't get here. I was able to turn around in time and then just wasted several hours because I had planned nothing. What did what you do? Matt,

save it for the podcast. Sorry, sorry. The guest is very rude this morning. I know, I know. I'm just, I'm on tenterhooks. I want to know, so I'll shut up. This is a mystery for you that you're going to find out very soon. Sorry, I couldn't help it. Listener, can you imagine? Can you imagine? This is a professional. Well, you see what I brought.

A gift.

What's going on?

I showed up to the office.

They were having a cookie swap party without me.

I was not told about this, but jokes on them.

I think cookie parties are a bad concept.

I think it's a flawed idea. You can't eat that many cookies. And if you try a bunch at the same time, the flavor gets all mushed in your mouth. And then if you're taking them home, they're getting old. No one is getting a cookie at its best. The only cookie you're enjoying is the first one you try there. But the unfortunate thing is what if it came from someone who's not good at baking?

Then your whole party's been ruined.

It's, I understand the, in theory, sure, I've never been to a good one.

And I'm sure everyone at the office is having a bad one right now.

Okay, well, the guest is here.

...