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Brooke and Jeffrey

Masked Speaker: Retail Therapy

Brooke and Jeffrey

iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.71.9K Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2023

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One of our listeners told a huge lie to her parents... And got a free vacation out of it! She's going to tell us how she did it in today's Masked Speaker.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You don't know me.

0:03.0

A confession I can't take back.

0:06.0

I am.

0:08.0

The masked speaker.

0:12.0

Got a text into 78592.

0:14.0

In third grade, somebody passed around a box of lollipops to the class, and I took two instead of one.

0:20.0

Oh, that is... I can two instead of one. Oh.

0:41.3

I can't live with the shame anymore. All the police right now. You should see me at the bank. It'll make you feel a lot better, okay? Do you rob the place? No, I just take a lollipop. Of lollipops. I thought you should see my paychecks that I deposit at the bank. We're not talking about that right now. Some people's guarded truths are bigger than others, we'll say. Let's hope this is not that boring.

0:43.3

Whether they're small or big or somewhere in between,

0:46.3

on this show, we believe size doesn't matter.

0:49.3

Right, Brooke?

0:50.3

Thank you, Jess.

0:51.3

I think two of the members believe that.

0:53.3

Well, here, this is where you can come share your confessions anonymously, and we will not

0:58.5

sigh shame you. And one of our listeners wants to come clean about something she did in her

1:04.0

past. She's chosen the fake name Lexi. So Lexi, welcome to the show. Thank you guys so much.

1:10.4

How are you? Good. You sound weirdly pleasant, Lexi. Yeah, we're not used to hearing pleasant people on this show. We are. I mean, usually when you're about to confess something, you're nervous, you're scared. What's going on with you? The voice change is on. You're the mass speaker. Tell us what's happening. Thank you. Well, I love shopping. I've always loved it since I was little. It's like a hobby. I feel that. Yeah, you know, it's like I love finding great deals. I love getting high on stuff. So fun. I just love being around merchandise. You and Alexis are like kindred spirits here. You and Brooke, though, couldn't be farther apart. No, that's not true. I love a great deal. I've never seen Brooke wear anything Gucci or Prada or anything. No, no, no. You can't get good deals on those things. Do you think they're doing a bogo over at Gucci? It just doesn't happen. But that's what Lexi's saying. She's saying she likes the high-end stuff only. I thought she said she liked deals. I was just going to say, wait, how are you getting good deals on designer stuff? There are all kinds of ways. Like, there are, you know, national sites, there's coupon codes. But you can also just wait for sales. Sales or check the dumpster behind the store after they throw some damage goods out. Okay.

2:17.9

So what does this have to do with a confession, though?

2:19.8

So you love shopping.

2:20.9

So I shop a lot.

2:22.4

It is something I spend a lot of money on, but I don't go overboard or anything like that.

2:27.4

But a few months ago, I told my parents that I had a shopping addiction, which I don't.

...

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