You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

You know in the action movies, when the bad guy holds somebody for ransom,

and they demand millions of dollars in order to set them free?

Yeah. The key is to use a voice changer during your ransom call with the cops.

For sure.

You have to do that.

I want $5 billion in a black paper bag sent by the garbage dumps until 3 p.m.

No cops.

I don't want to see a police officer anywhere nearby.

Okay.

He's in trouble. All right. I probably show up to that. Turn the knob the other way. Oh, sorry. Yeah, down. She'd be like, I'm over here. We can give you that same thrill of holding someone hostage with this segment called the mass speaker. What a promise. One of our listeners is on the line ready to get something off their chest. He's chosen to go by the alias, Rich. Rich, very creative fake name there. I like it. It's better than poor. You are today's mass speaker, Rich. Your phone line's being run through our voice changer. So whenever you're ready, tell us your secret. There's my confession.. Are you ready for it? Okay. All right. How are you feeling right now,

Rich? Feeling somewhat guilty, but it's something I've kind of been dealing with for a while,

and now it's almost like I'm numb to it. Okay. What's going on? Tell us.

Well, I lost my job about nine months ago. Oh, I'm sorry, man. It's tough, man. I'm sorry. The way it goes. I just have to ask, did you work at this radio station? Is this some sort of revenge thing? Is this our producer? Wait a minute. I know we had to let go a bunch of people I really hope you're not one of

them oh too soon I don't know I'm actually kind of worried too I know can you confirm or deny that

rich I can not confirm or deny those allegations you can't confirm more deny those allegations

you can't confirm more deny okay let's just continue with the story. I hope you don't have our address.

Around the same time as I lost that job, I started dating a girl.

Okay.

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