You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

Text to 78592 says,

I had four really heavy things delivered from Amazon,

but I ordered them days apart,

because my ring cam caught the delivery guy calling my cat overweight.

Aw.

That's your passive aggressive revenge.

It's like an episode of Garfield playing out in real life.

But, you know, we're all about petty revenge on this show, especially during this segment, the mass speaker.

Oh, I get it petty because it was a pet.

Oh.

Wow.

You really read deep into that one.

This is where listeners can share all the devious things they've done anonymously

because we alter your voice for your protection.

And today we have a woman who wants to share her secret using the fake name Danielle.

So Danielle, welcome to the show. Thank you. Yes. We can't wait to hear what your big secret. Your confession is. Hopefully it's extra petty because the voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. Okay. Well, I've been dying to tell someone this. I've held onto it for over six years.

Ooh, that's a long time.

I'm excited.

...