You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

Tis the season of giving and generosity.

Yeah, it's the best.

And in that spirit, we are generously giving you a chance to tell us your deepest, darkest secrets.

Right here on the radio for millions to hear and possibly laugh at.

That doesn't sound like a really good trade off.

How wholesome are we?

It's either you do it with us or you drink too much at a family dinner and accidentally let it slip. That's a great point, bro. Plus, as an extra gift, we'll hide your identity and keep you anonymous, like some sort of witness protection program. So generous of us. Yeah, look at us, guys. Are we the best at Christmas? Probably. As the Jew in the room, I can say, yes, we are.

Yeah, wait a minute.

And today, we're going to get a special holiday-themed confession from one of our listeners

who's chosen to go by the alias Mark today.

Mark, welcome to the most generous radio show on Earth.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, Mark.

Welcome to our generosity show.

You haven't said thank you to us yet, but that's okay.

We're generously going to give you a lot.

Okay, there we go.

A little late, but we'll accept it.

...