You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

Text to 78592 says the first time I told my current girlfriend I loved her.

Aw.

She had an anxiety attack, hyperventilated, and had to rush around her bedroom to find her rescue inhaler.

Then she didn't say it back.

You know what?

Oh, no.

That means it's true love.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Well, we may hyperventilate when we hear you confess your secrets anonymously here on the mass speaker.

Ooh, I'll get my inhaler ready. Thank you, Jose. But we do promise we will say, I love you once it's all said and done. Yeah. And I mean it because we have a guy who wants to come clean using the fake name, Warren, as his secret identity. So, Warren, welcome to the show. Thank you. Hey, Warren. Hey, Warren. How are you feeling? A little nervous. My voice is disguised. I think, unless this is how your voice normally sounds, but I would never know. I hope this isn't how you normally sound. But the voice... You're good, bro. You are. The voice changes on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. Okay. Only my dad knows this. And I guess, depending on how I say the details, I'm just afraid other people might figure it out. Okay. You're not going to say yet. We don't have any info, bro. Well, it was six years ago now.

Okay.

A girl I was dating at the time.

We had been together less than a year.

All right.

And it was the end of the year, New Year's Eve party.

Like hundreds of people were there.

Okay, one of the big ones.

Gotcha.

...