Hey everybody, it's Thursday night.

I am your jacked up genetic freak.

You're...

That's right, I'm pointing dead between the eyes of all those fucking mark, asshole news journalists

who boycott me and refused to plug my shows and my radio shows and my

hotlines and everything. You're a mythological cult hero, the guru of maniacism, the man with the 21

and a half inch arms, and a few people have my space.

From looking at my pictures, you know I'm legit.

The 63 and 3 quarter inch chest, the real big neck, the phenomenally long and extremely potent penis, I am the Mask Maniac, and this is the Masked Maniac Internet Show,

and we are once again joined by Mr. I Answer Your I-M messages whenever I feel like it,

or when I need something, Anthony, Don Tony Thunker de Blasie, and his two friends,

one of which I get the impression, he's really not too thrilled with me.

Joey 924, who's in a wheelchair, but that doesn't matter because he has a wife,

so he probably gets a lot of blowjohn. I don't know if he feels it.

And black Moses, who yes, he is black, and he feels very bold tonight, because he told a 260-pound man that his wife's a gook.

So I guess you've got to like him for that.

I just wish I said the N-word, but I don't have it in me, so what can I tell you?

I really love when people say the N-word.

It makes you feel so complete.

Oh, you?

I can't, you know what, it's funny.

I could say gook.

...