This episode of the Ducat Russell Family Hour Podcast is brought to you by Warby Parker.

If you're like me, then you can't see very well.

And at night, your version of reality is very similar to that of somebody on day six of a

meth binge or a football player who's been hit so many times in the head that his brain

looks like a rotting plate of cottage cheese.

Listen, you don't have to drive around completely blind or you don't have to look at the world

through a foggy, neurological filter just because your eyeballs are melting due to the fact

that you exist in the universe where you're rapidly being aerosolized by time.

You can fix this problem with a very old invention called glasses.

Now here's the problem.

Glasses are incredibly expensive.

Most of these glasses boutiques that you go to these days are run by reptilian, illuminati

shells who want nothing more than to suck as much money out of your sweet, sacred bank

account as they possibly can while selling you over-ply, over-priced doom glasses that

make you look like Simon Cowell instead of who you really are, a sophisticated, smart,

brilliant person who is not going to be taken in by these asshole eyeglass mongers anymore.

They're too expensive.

I went to one of these eyeglasses shops.

I was immediately attacked by one of these reptilian bastards.

They won't even let you look at the glasses without walking over to you, asking if they

help you, can help you tormenting you by trying to make you think that somehow things made

out of plastic are worth $700.

...