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Hello and welcome to Anatomy of Marriage. I'm your host Melanie Studley. What's up my friends? My name is Seth Studley. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. Welcome to the show.

Today, we are talking about my husband is really good at taking care of himself. Well, I'll be sick. Alright guys, check it out.

We're fresh. We've been back from Folly Beach for a hot minute and I need a vacation from the vacation. And you're going to hate me, but also love me for this. So today literally less than 48 hours back from vacation. Yes. You know what I was looking up vacation tickets to Hawaii.

I know, I know Hawaii, but I was just like, I'm just going to look because because on the flight here, no, on the flight back to here, I guess from South Carolina, you were like, you know, we just do everything for other people.

I did not say it like that. You are a drama queen. What is the question? Does have anything to do with vacation? It had no, it doesn't. Okay, but I'm going to read this question.

Okay. Alright, here we go guys. So a little backstory. So brighten it up there. Okay. Here's my issue. My husband is really good at taking care of himself and only himself. For instance, I will ask him if he needs anything at the grocery store, he will say no and then go by himself and only give what he needs.

He will not ask me if I need anything or get anything for our kid diapers, et cetera. He also keeps all his food in a small cupboard above our fridge instead of in the pantry. He will make plans without keeping me in the loop. He will fold laundry.

He will fold his laundry only and leave mine for me to do things like this. No judgment. I know what's coming up for you. Although these things seem like small things, he really makes me feel like he doesn't care about me or our family that he's not invested in our life together.

He's my best friend, but I need a partner. I want to take care of him and I feel that I'm taking and feel that I'm taking care of as well. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel like we were even married in separation is a real possibility.

He says he loves me and loves our life. He says he doesn't want to make me go out of my way to do things for him and that's why he just does his own thing. Looking back, I think he was always this way. This way, excuse me, which I was okay with until we had our son.

Goodness, not professional my apologies. I would never want someone to change who they are for me and he is who I'm married. I just want someone that will grow, all caps grow with me.

Our lives have changed and I have changed. How can I get him to step up? I've tried everything I can think of. I'm sick and tired of feeling like a single parent with a roommate. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Seth is awesome and his best therapist ever.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So as I was reading it, I don't have time to like multitask and read the question and think about it. So I want you to go first. What were your initial thoughts?

Yeah, well, two to three things popped out immediately. And one was that you said something about him like he's been this he's always been this way or something like that or he would never go or he doesn't want me to go out of my way for him.

Something along those lines you said and it's interesting because this is a dynamic that we had in our marriage for about 10 years.

We'll say we'll be married in 17 years soon for about 16 to 3 quarter years.

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