Marriage Isn't Fair • 196
Mind Love™ • Consciousness, Spirituality, and Science for Awakening
Melissa Monte | Conscious Coach
4.9 • 906 Ratings
🗓️ 24 August 2021
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We will learn:
- The problem with our current mindset of 50/50 fairness in marriage.
- The three mindset shifts necessary to reshape your marriage or partnership.
- How to make radical generosity a habit.
Nothing in life is fair. Including marriage. Not only that, but if you expect it to be, or try to enforce fairness, you may be killing your marriage, one negotiation at a time.
The thing about fairness in general is that it’s nearly impossible. No two people, situations, or things in general are exactly alike, so it’s extremely difficult to make sure that each person or thing is treated entirely equally.
But then how are we supposed to have an equal marriage if there’s no way to make it fair? Is there a better way to do a partnership than keeping score?
That’s what we’re talking about today. Our guests are Nate and Kaley Kemp, husband and wife co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage. Nate is also a founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. And Kaley is also one of the nation's leading experts on small-group dynamics and leadership development, a TEDx speaker and author of 3 other books.
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Transcript
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| 0:30.3 | Welcome to Mind Love, episode 196. |
| 0:33.0 | Today's episode is all about the problem with fairness in marriage. |
| 0:37.0 | The idea of fairness is such a great noble idea, and yet in practice for many couples the way that they go about |
| 0:47.2 | achieving fairness and achieving that 50-50 mindset is through behaviors that as Kayla was saying lead to all sorts of conflict |
| 0:55.9 | and tension. |
| 0:56.9 | So when we are keeping score a mental tally of all the wonderful things that we're doing all the ways our partner has fallen short. |
| 1:06.7 | It's just almost inevitable that we're creating drama and tension and we're actually diminishing the things we really want out of a connection together. |
| 1:16.2 | Why doesn't fairness work? |
| 1:19.6 | One of the problems is there's a way that we over count the things that we do and under count the things |
| 1:26.0 | that our partner does. |
| 1:27.0 | Turn up your frequency with mind love. |
| 1:33.0 | Bight-sized brain hacks for seekers, dreamers, and doers. |
... |
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