The following podcast contains explicit language.

Welcome to Mom and Dad are Fighting, Slate's Parenting Podcasts for Thursday, February 14th, the Marching Band Clown Pants Edition.

I'm Gabriel Roth. I'm the editorial director of Slate Podcasts.

I'm the father of Eliza, who's eight years old, and Leo, who is four. I'm Rebecca LaVoy. I'm a journalist director of Slate Podcasts. I'm the father of Eliza who's eight years old and

Leo, who is four. I'm Rebecca LaVoy. I'm a journalist and podcaster in New Hampshire, and I am mom to Henry who is 17, Teddy, who is 16, and my beautiful stepdaughter, Lily, who is 18. And I'm Carva Wallace, a writer and podcaster in Oakland, California, and I'm the father to Georgia, who was 13 and Ezra who is 15.

Today on our show we have a question about how to tell your daughter that in Oakland, California, and I'm the father to Georgia who was 13 and Ezra who was 15.

Today on our show, we have a question about how to tell your daughter that her dad is not her

biological father and another about a kid who always, always, always has to win.

Plus, as always, we'll have trams and fails, we'll make recommendations.

And on our Slate Plus segment, we're going to talk Girl Scout cookies. But first, it's time for triumphs and fails. Carvel, you want to go first? You've got to triumph or fail. I have back-to-back fails. After a long streak, a long wind streak, my win streak has finally come to an end, parenting wise. My back-to-back

fails with that. I got into screaming fights with my kids successively on Monday morning and Tuesday

morning. Monday morning, Georgia and I got into it and tempers flared. And then Tuesday morning,

Ezra and I got into it and tempers flared. And I got to say, you know, they're teenagers and all

that. And teenagers are frustrating and getting and, you know, they're teenagers and all that.

And teenagers are frustrating and getting and, you know, having your buttons pushed by your teenage child is certainly nothing new.

But I do have to say that like by the end of the second fight, I was like, I feel like the common denominator here is me because I completely got into it.

And so like the first on Monday, Georgia got into the car to go to school and was we were relatively on time. Ezra was actually that morning Ezra was well on time too. And so got in the car and then Georgia realized that she couldn't find her phone. She couldn't find it. So she's looking around for it. And then she's like looking out of the seat for it. And then she's like, I know I had it. I swear I had it. And like, meanwhile, the clock is ticking. Then she's getting out of the car. And she's like looking around to see if she dropped it. And I'm like, you know what? We actually got to go. We can't make us relate. Like, it's fine. If you don't have your phone, you probably have it with you, but if you don't, like, you know, whatever. And she's like, no, you, you have to go and find my iPhone and ping my phone. And I'm like,

I'm not, I can't, I don't even have you on my find my iPhone. And she's, well, I have to get mom to do it. So she like, so she like runs upstairs and tries to get her mom and then blah, blah, One thing leads to another when we realized that her phone was in her bag the entire time.

But at this point, she's like yelled at everyone in the family.

She's made us like 10 minutes late because... one thing leads to another and we realized that her phone was in her bag the entire time. But at this point, she's like yelled at everyone in the family.

She's made us like 10 minutes late because she's gone through this whole thing.

And the whole time I'm like, look, you just, you don't, okay, if you don't find your phone, you don't have it. That's fine. You don't need your phone every day. You just come home. She's like, but I have to make plans for my friends after school.

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