Managing Disagreements About Money in Marriage | Dr. Laura Dabney (BEST OF MKM)

Marriage Kids and Money: Personal Finance for Families

Andy Hill

Investing, Business, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.9 • 604 Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Disagreements around money in marriage can trigger anxiety, conflict, and even long-term damage if left unspoken. So how can couples move from financial tension to emotional connection? In this “Best of MKM” episode from 2019, psychiatrist Dr. Laura Dabney shares her insights on why money arguments go deeper than dollars—and how to address the feelings behind the finances. Dr. Dabney explains why our childhood experiences shape our money mindset, how to express emotions without blame, and what to do when your spouse isn’t on the same page. Whether it’s a surprise boat purchase or hidden debt, she offers tools to help couples move beyond the surface and truly communicate. This conversation is full of “a-ha” moments and practical advice for parents and partners trying to build trust and teamwork. If disagreements around money in marriage are stressing you out, this episode with Dr. Laura Dabney is a must-listen. Resources ⁠⁠Sponsors, Deals and Partners⁠⁠ MKM RESOURCES: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Own Your Time⁠: Pre-order my first book today! ⁠MKM Coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠: Want 1-on-1 support with your family finance journey? Book a time with me today. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Coast FIRE Calculator⁠⁠⁠⁠: A free calculator to help you find out when you can slow down or stop investing for retirement. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Mortgage Payoff Calculator⁠⁠⁠⁠: A free calculator to help you see how fast you can become mortgage free. ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠: Subscribe for free to watch videos of these episodes and interviews. RECOMMENDED RESOURCES (SPONSORS AND AFFILIATES): ⁠⁠⁠⁠Monarch Money⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Best Budget App for Families & Couples ⁠⁠⁠⁠Empower⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Free Portfolio Tracker ⁠⁠⁠Cr⁠ew⁠⁠⁠⁠ - HYSA Banking Built for Families - Get an Extra 0.5% APY with my partner link ⁠⁠⁠⁠Ethos⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Affordable Term Life Insurance ⁠⁠⁠⁠Trust & Will⁠⁠⁠ ⁠- Convenient Estate Planning CHAPTERS 00:00 – How emotions—not dollars—spark financial fights 01:40 – Introduction to Dr. Laura Dabney 03:00 – Childhood roots of money conflict 04:30 – Learning to identify and express feelings 06:30 – How to talk about big purchases 09:00 – Communication strategy: “I feel X when you do Y” 11:30 – Making time for emotional check-ins as parents 13:45 – How tech affects emotional connection 15:30 – Red flags to watch in serious relationships 17:30 – Boundaries and when to seek therapy 20:00 – Counseling alone when your spouse won’t come 22:30 – Why money classes may miss the root issue 24:00 – Dr. Dabney’s book recommendations and resources HOW WE MAKE MONEY + DISCLAIMER: This show may contain affiliate links or links from our advertisers where we earn a commission, direct payment or products. Opinions are the creators alone. Information shared on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. Marriage Kids and Money (www.marriagekidsandmoney.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. CREDITS: Podcast Artwork: Liz Theresa Editor: Johnny Sohl Podcast Support: Andy Hill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you can get comfortable with the feeling and say,
0:03.0	I really get anxious when you make a big purchase,
0:05.5	that person's going to want to soothe your pain.
0:08.1	The person's not going to want to not buy a boat
0:09.6	because you've declared it's wrong.
0:11.7	It's because there's nothing wrong with it.
0:13.5	But they're going to want to help you
0:15.3	if you talk about your pain and they love you.
0:23.7	This show is dedicated to helping you,
0:26.3	strengthen your family tree, and live financially free.
0:29.2	Welcome to the Marriage Kids and Money podcast, everybody.
0:31.2	This is Andy Hill.
0:32.7	And today we're bringing you another Best of MKM episode.
0:36.8	This week we're featuring an interview I did with
0:38.8	psychiatrist Dr. Laura Dabney in 2019. Dr. Dabney and I dove into an important conversation
0:46.2	around managing disagreements around money in marriage. Since my wife and I have had a fair
0:52.3	share of these over our 15 years of marriage,
0:55.4	I figured a few of you out there might be in the same boat.
0:59.3	Dr. Dabney shares some helpful advice that can help us navigate these rough waters in marriage.
1:05.9	There's lots of boat references there for some reason.
1:08.5	Maybe I need to get out on the lake today.
1:10.5	Anyway, without further delay, let's jump into this Best of MKM episode. references there for some reason maybe I need to get out on the lake today anyway
	...

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