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Practical Stoicism

Managing Anger as a Parent

Practical Stoicism

Tanner Campbell

Self-improvement, Philosophy, Society & Culture, Education

4.7723 Ratings

🗓️ 31 May 2026

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, I talk about parenting, exhaustion, frustration, and the very real challenge of remaining Stoic when your emotional battery is running on empty.

Stoic Mentoring: https://tannerocampbell.com/mentoring

Sunday 7th Webinar: https://stoictalks.uk/june-cosmology

Using a story from my own 43rd birthday, I walk through a morning that did not go according to plan. What I wanted was a peaceful day. What I got was a very normal morning with a two-year-old child who wanted things his way, struggled to communicate those wants clearly, and repeatedly tested my patience.

The story revolves around a simple trip to a café that gradually became a lesson in expectations, frustration, entitlement, and emotional regulation.

The deeper lesson is not really about toddlers. It's about the stories we tell ourselves.

I had convinced myself that my birthday entitled me to a peaceful day. Rationally, I knew that wasn't true. But emotionally, I had quietly bought into the idea anyway. That expectation became the source of much of my frustration.

From there, I explore several Stoic lessons:

  • Managing expectations before frustration takes hold.
  • Recognizing when we're running our emotional batteries too low.
  • Understanding that self-care is not selfishness.
  • Appreciating how much children learn from our behavior, especially when we're angry.
  • Recognizing the difference between discipline and rage.

I spend particular time discussing the impression we leave on our children. Children are constantly watching us. Every outburst, every moment of patience, every act of self-control becomes part of the example we set for them.

A parent losing their temper doesn't just solve a problem poorly in the moment—it can shape how a child understands relationships, authority, safety, and emotional expression for years to come.

I also argue that many parents wait far too long to recharge. We run ourselves into the ground, then expect one special day, one holiday, or one break to somehow restore everything. That's not sustainable.

The Stoic approach is much simpler: maintain the battery before it reaches zero.

Even a single hour each week dedicated to rest, reflection, reading, walking, or simply being alone can dramatically improve our ability to show up well for the people who depend on us.

The central message of the episode is this: parenting is hard, and perfection is impossible. But we can dramatically reduce the likelihood of losing our tempers by managing our expectations, protecting our own wellbeing, and remembering that our children are always learning from how we choose to respond.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome back for Kapton. I hope you're well. Today, I'm going to talk about parenting a little bit

0:06.2

and all the irrational rage that can sometimes come with it and how maybe we can get a little bit

0:12.3

better about not losing our minds once a week as parents. If you're not a parent,

0:16.8

you maybe could still learn something from this episode, but it'll probably be more pertinent to those of you who have kids.

0:22.9

And all that seems like something worth doing, I think. But first, two things. As you know, I am offering

0:29.5

one-to-one mentoring now, over a six-month engagement, and I'm accepting no more than 10 mentees in

0:36.2

total at $2,400 US dollars, each for the term.

0:40.6

A handful of those spots are already taken, but some still remain, more than half still remain.

0:45.2

And this cohort of mentees begins June 15th. You know whether or not you can afford to do this.

0:51.2

That's your own business. I'm not going to get involved in that, but you may not be sure if you need it or if it will be of any benefit. So what I would encourage you to do, if this is something you're both able to afford and are considering, I would suggest that you go to Tanner O'Campbell.com forward slash mentorship. There's a link in the description for you to do that, so you don't have to

1:11.2

remember the URL, and just read more about the program. What I will say briefly here is that if

1:16.8

you're committed to living a stoic life and you're struggling to do so, but also struggling to get

1:22.9

onto, let's say, the next stage of your life, or you're trying to overcome something heavy right

1:27.4

now, that this is very likely going to be for you, and you should be. let's say the next stage of your life or you're trying to overcome something heavy right now

1:27.7

that this is very likely going to be for you and you should make the investment but that is up to you

1:34.2

it is not up to me second i am hosting a 90 minute live webinar this upcoming sunday which is

1:40.5

june the seventh not today it's sunday when I'm recording this and releasing it on Stoic

1:45.5

physics and cosmology. It's just 10 pounds to attend and you can go to stoictalks.ukukes.uk

1:51.5

U.K. slash June dash cosmology. A bit of a mouthful there, sorry, but there's a link in the show

1:57.0

notes of this episode so that you don't have to remember that URL either, and you can

2:01.1

purchase a ticket there. There's no seating limitations or no sellout for this because it's an

2:07.1

online webinar, so there's unlimited space. And if it sounds interesting, if you're one of the nerds

...

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