Hey, it's Rachel Cook, your modern mentor.

I'm the founder of Lead Above Noise, where we help leaders rethink how the work gets done, like in ways that are hyperproductive, but that also

keep people well and engaged. We deliver the tools and skills so that leaders learn to build

human goodness into the work instead of relying on programs outside the work

to fix overwhelm and burnout. If your organization is ready for some fresh approach to working,

learn more about my speaking, workshops, and coaching programs at leadabovenoise.com. Okay, on to today.

So I have this really visceral memory from my childhood.

Like, I'd get invited to a birthday party for somebody I knew from camp or soccer or somewhere outside of school.

And I'd show up excited until I realized that I was the odd woman out.

Everybody there knew each other.

They had inside jokes and shared history. And I was the odd woman out. Everybody there knew each other. They had inside jokes and shared

history, and I was extra. I'd end up kind of hovering awkwardly, maybe playing with the dog,

or helping the mom in the kitchen, just trying to look busy so it didn't look too awkward for

everybody else. The birthday kid in these cases always had the best intentions. They wanted

me there. But as an adult, I look back and I realized what was actually happening. It was never

clear what the purpose of that party was. Like if the purpose was for them to celebrate with

everyone they loved, then a better solution would have been a party for school friends and maybe a

separate hangout with me. But if the purpose was to bring all of their favorite people together

and actually connect us, then maybe there could have been a more connective activity at the party,

something that included everyone. I am not throwing shade at children's birthday parties,

and I am not here to process my childhood

wounds. That's what my therapist is for. But this idea of bringing people together meaningfully

...