MAGA Pope: Make America Guilty Again
The Bugle
The Bugle
4.8 • 6.6K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2025
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, Andy Zaltzman is joined by elite-tier Bugler and guest producer Belinda (as well as Nish Kumar and Tom Ballard) delivering a show so saucy it might get you banned from the Vatican gift shop.
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🏏 Top Story: India v Pakistan — More than just a cricket match, it’s a boiling cauldron of nationalism, sport obsession, and a few pesky borders. What does this frenzy say about both countries—and how does it compare to how Russia does fun (spoiler: poorly)?
💸 Who will step in to sponsor the IPL extended break? We’re imagining a bidding war between detergent brands and authoritarian regimes.
🇬🇧🇮🇳 Plus, we dive into the UK–India post-Brexit trade deal: will it involve actual trade, or just ceremonial handshakes and whisky?
🕊️ Also in the news: a Ukraine ceasefire, which may or may not hold longer than a political promise, and Woke Pope News—has the Vatican gone vegan?
🎤 And in literary slander: Is Andy Zaltzman truly “the Wordsworth of anal filth”? We may never know, but we’ll speculate wildly.
⚖️ Also, we remember the Witch Trials—a time when women were persecuted for floating, speaking, or simply existing—and toss some flaming audio cocktails into the bin for good measure.
🎧 Watch our fantasy-meets-satire show Realms Unknown on YouTube, and check out A Passion for Passion here: http://uk.bookshop.org/shop/RealmsUnknown
🔔 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for weekly satire on sport, politics, religion, and righteous nonsense.
Produced by Belinda Copeland, with support from Chris Skinner and Laura Turner.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Bugle! Audio newspaper for a visual world. |
| 0:13.2 | Buglers, hello! |
| 0:14.8 | Oh, you weren't expecting that, were you? |
| 0:16.1 | Who says you can't teach him old podcast, new tricks? |
| 0:18.0 | Welcome to issue 4,340 of the Bugle, |
| 0:21.5 | audio newspaper for a visceral world. |
| 0:23.7 | With me, Andy Zaltzman, |
| 0:24.9 | fearlessly sitting in a hermetically sealed shed, |
| 0:27.4 | as always, providing pure, |
| 0:29.2 | unbetaintable objectivity on all the shipbags and sizes |
| 0:32.7 | who are ruining the planet for good people like you. |
| 0:35.1 | It's the 2020's objectivity of what it was. |
| 0:37.2 | Our two co-hosts today, in the planet for good people like you. It's the 2020's objectivity and what it was. |
| 0:40.3 | Our two co-hosts today, bravely soldiering through, |
| 0:42.3 | despite having had their dreams of becoming Pope, |
| 0:45.8 | crushed, crossed before their eyes, ground to dust, |
| 0:49.9 | by the Vatican machine, which holds so many deep-sitting prejudices against people like them. |
| 0:52.2 | I think they both missed out in at least three categories. |
| 0:55.9 | Firstly, back in the UK after circumnavigating the world on his self-constructed raft of truth, |
| 0:58.1 | or did he use airplanes in the end? |
| 0:59.3 | It's Nish Kumar. |
| 1:00.3 | Welcome, uh, welcome, Nish. |
... |
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