I'm actually really coming to terms with as an adult because there's so many like

ricocheting effects from the way that I was raised that I find in like personal relationships

where I really do chameleon to behavior in the room. So like right now if all of a sudden your body language changed and you seemed upset with me, I would immediately go into fight or flight. And I would have to actively work and do the therapy I've done to remove my sense of worry about what I could have done to upset you. Because that was what I was taught to do as a child. My father would immediately flip on a dime and, you know, say things that he didn't

necessarily mean. And I immediately as a child, you're like, what did I just do to make him do that?

Madeline, welcome to reclaiming. Thank you for having me. Yeah. I'm actually going to dive right in

because ever since I learned this about you, it has, I think it might have even triggered me,

but I'm just so curious because I am a rejection-sensitive person, maybe even rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Maybe I might even have that.

I don't know. I tried to self-diagnose. But when I learned that you went on 250 auditions before you landed Riverdale.

Yeah. How did you find yourself again after each incident and then

show back up again? It was honestly so much less heartbreaking at the beginning of my career

because it's just par for the course when you're a new actress in Hollywood. You don't expect

to book anything. I mean, I always knew that I had the

calling to it. I always knew that this is what I was supposed to be doing, but I never thought it would be easy. So in the beginning, it was like every rejection was like, okay, let me get the note and we find out why it didn't work. Let me take notes. I had a notebook. I would keep track of like the casting director's name. If they told me any personal facts about themselves, any notes they gave me on the character and I'd like keep all of that in a notebook so I could like kind of use that to my advantage moving forward. It became a lot harder to receive rejection like at this point in my career now because okay there's you know when you're going on there's certain levels of callbacks where like I was going on pre reads which is like before you even get an audition. So I'm pre reading with the casting associate. it. Sometimes they're not even recording it. And they're just like seeing if you're good. So it's like a pre-reads, which is like before you even get an audition. So I'm pre-reading with the casting associate. Sometimes they're not even recording it. And they're just like seeing if you're good.

So it's like a pre-read is like, you're not even, the door's not even open yet. Now the door is fully open and I'm usually doing like a director meeting or a callback or whatever. So you've got to be really in love with the material. And for me to do the job, I have to love the character. I have to be

obsessed with the character. And so I become obsessed and I like understand everything about them and I fall in

love. And then I've to be obsessed with the character.

And so I become obsessed and I like understand everything about them and I fall in love.

And then I've got to learn to walk away. And that's much harder, I think, now. That's really interesting. I've seen that and I know you're producing too and we'll talk about that later on. but it's one of the facets of producing that's been interesting to me to see because I sort of came into the industry late in my career, if you will.

And so I get to see things from a very different lens.

But the whole you fall in love with the show.

You're spending so much time with the writer and showrunner trying

to create the pitch and you're, you know, every moment, every, everything and you get in there

...