Don and Tom expose the seductive illusion of “wealth without risk” by dissecting the explosion of equity-hedged ETFs and mutual funds. They tear into the high fees, low returns, and false promises sold by funds claiming to protect investors from market drops while capturing the upside. With support from recent Wall Street Journal coverage and AQR data, they explain how these “hedging” strategies—especially options-based ones—often underperform simple stock/bond portfolios. Listener questions tackle Roth conversions, AVGE vs. GLOV, and the myth of magical investing pills. 0:04 Investing dreams and chocolate dreams: both come with a price 1:31 Wall Street sells “protection” from volatility—Americans are buying 2:37 Hedged funds as “stock insurance”? More like expensive illusions 3:57 Comparing VOO to PHDG: 13% vs. 4.3% returns 4:54 Downside protection claims fall apart under scrutiny 6:18 Lower volatility, far lower returns—does it help you sleep or retire? 7:34 How these funds work: options-based “protection” explained 8:48 Options decay and premium costs crush performance 9:56 Simpler is better: most “safety” funds fail to beat basic stock/bond mix 11:03 5-year S&P 500 returns: mostly up, and up a lot 11:50 Hedged funds underperform in up years—and still lose in down ones 12:22 Hidden costs in options-based funds aren’t in the expense ratio 13:30 Bottom line: no panacea, no magic. Just smart allocation 14:05 Investor responsibility: no one will protect your money but you 14:12 Listener Q&A intro and apology for delay 15:05 Backdoor Roth vs. regular Roth when income is uncertain 16:59 AVGE vs. GLOV: performance vs. philosophy 17:55 GLOV’s returns look good—but it’s far less diversified 19:21 Passive label vs. reality: GLOV is focused, possibly active 20:38 Short track record makes comparisons tricky 22:04 Don and Tom favor massive diversification over short-term wins 23:42 Set expectations low and you’ll be pleasantly surprised 24:49 Ask us anything—and yes, crypto guy left another bad review 26:02 Crypto is “generational”? Maybe, but Don still won’t use money he can’t spend Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices