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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 16.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2026

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

More than a decade ago, the film Her imagined a love story between a human and an artificial intelligence. Today, it no longer feels like fiction. In this special live taping of Where Should We Begin? from the Vox Media Stage at SXSW, Esther Perel is joined by Academy Award–winning filmmaker Spike Jonze to explore what happens when technology captures our affection. Drawing on a recent therapy session ​on the podcast with a man in a romantic relationship with his AI companion, Esther brings the audience into a deeply human story—one that raises new questions about intimacy, attachment, the state of "love," and what it means to feel seen. What happens when the being that understands you best isn’t a human being? As AI moves closer into our emotional lives, this conversation invites us to consider not just what technology can do, but what it awakens within us. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

What you are about to hear is a one-time live conversation recorded at the Vox Media podcast stage at South by Southwest.

0:08.8

Astaire recently had a session on the podcast with a young man and his AI girlfriend, Astrid.

0:14.0

So in this conversation, Astaire sits down with the director Spike Jones, whose movie her anticipated this moment over a decade ago.

0:25.6

Support for Where Should We Begin comes from Collette Travel Services.

0:30.1

If you've ever thought about traveling solo, going guided with Collette makes it easy.

0:35.6

Solo travelers can now save

0:37.5

up to $1,000

0:38.6

on select

0:39.9

small group

0:41.0

exploration tours

0:42.5

and departures.

0:44.5

Enjoy your own

0:45.3

room for less

0:46.0

and travel

0:47.1

knowing your journey

0:48.1

was designed by

0:49.0

in-destination

0:50.1

experts who love

0:51.6

travel as much as you do.

0:53.6

From African safaris to Northern Lights Adventures,

0:57.0

start your journey at go collette.com slash ester.

1:01.2

That's go, C-O-L-L-E-T-E dot com slash ester.

...

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