Love Lives On (Guest: Judge Lynn Toler)

Dear Future Wifey

Laterras R. Whitfield

Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Education, Christianity, Society & Culture

5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 31 January 2024

⏱️ 102 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How can emotional resilience help you during times of grief and hardship?

In episode 804, host Laterras R. Whitfield is joined by Judge Lynn Toler, who opens up about her life, love, and the lessons learned from her grieving journey. Judge Lynn Toler shares insights from her marriage of 33 years, her experiences growing up in a family with mental health conditions, and the transformative power of love and understanding in the face of life's challenges. From being on TV to building a solid marriage and saying goodbye to her husband, this is a powerful story on resilience and how learning in life is a never ending journey.

[00:00:00-00:04:43] Intro

[00:04:44-00:07:41] The power of telling the truth

[00:07:42-00:13:51] How did Judge Lynn meet her husband?

[00:13:52-00:18:45] Sharing the grief journey

[00:18:46-00:28:45] Emotional Intelligence in relationships

[00:28:46-00:45:02] Mental health in the family context

[00:45:03-00:58:24] The influence of family in your vision

[00:58:25-01:06:30] Processing love and loss

[01:06:31-01:13:54] Lessons of being married 33 years

[01:13:55-01:18:59] Being on TV

[01:19:00-01:27:18] Embracing life’s roller coaster

[01:27:19-01:34:46] Judge Lynn’s books and podcast

[01:34:47-01:38:59] Closing segment

[01:39:00-01:41:01] Laterras letter for his Dear Future Wifey

Key quotes:

"You can't stay mad and stay married." - Judge Lynn Toler

"The destination has always been happy. We didn't pick this ship, but since it's the ship you're on, we're going to help paddle it." - Judge Lynn Toler

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Do you ever feel like life is a never ending series of lessons while you try to find purpose, meaning, and answers?
0:07.0	I am Vanessa Fontana, the host of Figuring Shit Out, a podcast where we undertake self-help, coming of age, and healing.
0:14.0	As I live my 20s in New York City, figuring shit out myself,
0:17.0	I've realized that if you spend your whole life trying to get your act together,
0:20.0	you don't have a life. You have an act.
0:22.0	On figuring shit out every Sunday you get to normalize the journey of not knowing and be guided into living your life with more intention and ease
0:30.0	Health and communication. Why is that so hard?
0:32.8	Because people don't understand their own emotionality.
0:36.0	Yeah. You know, people think because they feel strongly about something, it's indicative of how right they are and it's not it's
0:44.6	just indicative of how they feel and they don't know why they feel that way
0:47.8	before you have a conversation or argument someone ask yourself how do you feel because in a in a fight with anybody the
0:57.2	first battle is always with yourself if you upset me I can't think I don't have access to facts I don't have the time and attention to
1:07.2	listen to what you're saying I'm looking to defend my position yeah but if I'm
1:12.0	emotionally aware I can talk to him about that. Don't convey your
1:18.4	frustration, convey information, but most people can convey frustration.
1:23.0	Don't convey your frustration, convey information.
1:27.0	I aim to make emotional healing a global norm.
1:33.0	Through cultivating candid discussions about love,
1:36.0	my parents got married and divorced to each other three times.
1:40.0	Or you can look at it as they kept trying.
1:42.0	In the end of my father's life, that's what he told me.
1:45.0	I aspire to men marriages.
	...

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