"Love is Not Enough in Intimate Relationships!" You NEED These 3 Things As Well with Matthew Hussey

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 893 Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2024

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Matthew Hussey tackles the complex question of whether changing for a partner is an act of true love or a lack of self-love. He challenges the notion that any change requested by a significant other should be accepted, emphasizing the importance of preserving one's core identity and values. Hussey's nuanced perspective highlights the delicate balance between personal growth and self-acceptance, encouraging individuals to attract the love they desire by embodying the qualities they seek in a partner. His thought-provoking insights offer a refreshing perspective on navigating the intricate dynamics of healthy relationships.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:07.0	If someone is asking you to change in a relationship, in a committed relationship, and you change for them, is that real love?
0:20.0	Doing it for someone else so that they can be happy or is it a lack of self-love and saying
0:26.3	Actually, that's not something I want to do right now and I want to accept who I am in this moment my personality or my habits or my mannerisms or whatever
0:35.2	it is that they want to change.
0:37.2	And I'm willing to walk away if that doesn't work for you.
0:40.8	Is it love if you change for someone else.
0:44.0	Like I think firstly people alert us to
0:49.0	things that we discover we want to change about ourselves all the time.
0:55.0	Right.
0:56.0	How many of the things that we realize about ourselves,
1:00.0	we realize because of how that habit, that behavior is experienced in relation to other people.
1:11.0	So enough people in your family tell you that there is something a way that you
1:17.3	are that is affecting them and that mirror you know assuming they come to you in healthy ways or that they point things
1:26.5	out in a loving or compassionate way, but that mirror is a wake-up call for you about a way that you are affecting people or how your behavior is hurting people.
1:37.6	That, you know, we come, we learn about ourselves in those ways all the time in life. So to that extent, in some ways it's a loving
1:48.7	thing for someone around you to trust you enough or to trust the relationship enough to feel like they can
1:58.1	be honest with you. When I think of the most brittle relationships or what defines a brittle
2:03.9	relationship or one where there is that doesn't have that foundation of safety and
2:07.9	trust and love. I think of a relationship where people aren't honest with each
2:11.2	other about the things they're unhappy about.
2:14.1	Because they're too afraid that the relationship can't sustain it.
	...

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