Hi, I'm Anna Martin. I'm the host of the Modern Love Podcast of the New York Times, and today it is my total treat to guest host this special Valentine's Day episode of The Moth. In honor of this holiday, which depending on the status of your love life, might be your least favorite or your most favorite day of the year, we're featuring three

stories all about how much love can hurt, about all the pain and heartache and disaster

that true love can lead to, but also about how love can help ease that pain and heartache,

and maybe even help us heal. First up is Patricia Dunphy, who told this story at a New York City

Story Slam where the theme was, appropriately enough, love hurts, an annual audience favorite

for over 15 years at our open night nights. Here's Patricia, live at the mouth.

So I stood next to his bed and I put both of his hands in my hands.

And, you know, he had really fine hands.

Really true, he was just a true guy.

I just never thought I could love anybody the way I loved this man, Alan.

And I wanted to move my hands away because he was starting to get cold, and I didn't

want to hold them when they were ice cold. But it was so hard to think that I was never going to

hold his hands again, and I took my hands away. You know, our relationship started about a little

over two decades before that. You know, we were both just around 50 years old, and we started dating in Manhattan.

And it was like I was a teenager. It was so great. You know, we would go to the movies, we'd go out to dinner.

So finally, when I realized we were going to be together, I just grabbed his hand hand and I held on to that hand for two decades.

You know, sometimes we would walk around the Upper West Side and I would say to myself,

don't be too cocky, you know?

Like, because people would look at us because we really did look good together, I have to say.

He was a gorgeous guy.

And I would think, you know, because we would see people with walkers or wheelchairs, and

I thought, that could be us one day.

...