One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that something can hurt.

Like, really hurt, like bring you to your knees hurt, and still be the right thing.

I've been avoiding this for years,

not because I don't think about you,

or because life has moved so far, so fast,

that I've forgotten the path that brought me here.

But because the opposite is true.

Because in a way, you'll always be home and I'll always have a

proclivity towards that calm. As much as my head screams for chaos, my heart begs for peace.

And what to make of that perpetual tug-of I don't know I guess life is just a

funny thing see I remember you looking at me as you walked out the door that day saying

Eddie I believe that you will make it whatever do, I just hope you don't get there

and find yourself alone. And I think about that all the time as my road has certainly been a lonely

one. I'll never forget feeling like I gave away one arm so that I could keep the other.

Or sitting there looking at the pictures, we hung the furniture,

we bought the pile of clothes next to the suitcase on the floor and thinking

that Boston would always remind me of you and that I had to go.

I'll never forget seeing this skyline in the rear view

and thinking how absolutely insane it is to leave what you love in pursuit of something that you don't know,

that can't be explained.

I couldn't articulate it then and I still really can't now.

When to choose what you know over what you feel, I don't understand.

...