This is a global player original podcast.

Hello and welcome to Dirty Motherpucker.

I'm Anna Whitehouse, the founder of Motherpucker, and I am joined by Polly Hazelwood.

I mean, I forgot your name then.

Oh, thanks. He'd been my best mate of 10 years. Cheers, love. Her over there. That one. That one over there. Oh, I've had a shocker. Oh, God. Genuinely, I had a shocker this time. Oh, no. So I don't go out much. I am an in-in person. I think actually, if I could just stay in my house, if I didn't have to earn money and go out, I think I'd choose to just be... Be in your jammies. Be in your jammies. In your jammies, eating jammie dodgers. Watching midsummer murders. Lovely. That would be it for me, really. Nothing nice. Until they had to sort of helicopter me out of the house because I've just become attached to the couch. That would be my dream situation. Anyway, I had to go out, and I have totally forgotten how to go out. I don't understand how it works. So I had lunch yesterday with a friend, and I made the grave error of ordering a fish platter.

Okay, that's not going to soak up much alcohol, is it?

The ratio, by two hours in, I was two hours deep at this lunch,

was two bottles of rosé to two prawns.

That's not going to cut it.

This is going to end in disaster.

Let me tell you, right?

The prawns were literally swimming around and the rose gate.

Oh, God.

Guys, guys, I don't know when you last went out, but we can't handle this.

Mayday.

Mayday.

Woman overboard.

She needs some bread.

Get other carbs.

Basically, just schoolgirl error. Actually, it. It's just an error, essentially. And embarrassingly, so this was lunch. Okay, it was about 4pm. I realized I'd gone too hard and... Too fast. Needed to go home. So I went to the toilet. What time is this? 4 p.m. This is 4. Okay, 4 p.m is 4.m. Daytime. It's probably night time somewhere in the world, though. Amazing. Let's be honest. And I ended up throwing up in the toilet. I have so much shame. Sitting with me. I am judging you. Thank you. I am absolutely judging you. I'm very disappointed. Oh, wow. No, I know that. To promise, I've seen you some pretty, I know, to be fair. Pretty rancid situations. I take it back.

I fell. absolutely judging you. I'm very disappointed. Oh, wow. No, I know that. As far, I've seen you as some pretty, pretty rancid situations. I take it back.

I've held that hair as you've chunded it into the ritzie bogs at three in the morning.

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