Mind your step, friend. The reinsman playing the fool with the cobblestones again.

Now then, we've just cataloged this curious pair of spectacles. Note the fracture through both lenses. Clean, even. As if something struck

them from the inside. They were found on the stoop of a townhouse in New Jersey. The owner was

nowhere to be found. Only his recording remained. He was quite fond of technology,

I'm told. Texting, videos, those glowing rectangles everyone carries about. Sometimes though,

the wrong message finds its way back. Lord 097, there's a secret number you can text to find your death date.

Before we begin, I want to point out some of the customers whose names have been etched in brass on this beautiful plaque I had made above the front desk.

These are some of the members of the inner circle of the Antiquarium.

We go by the Obsidian Covenant.

Recent initiates include Taylor Pyle, Debbie Farber,

Chantal Rockman, Kristen Evans, Taylor Pyle, Debbie Farber,

Shantal Rockman,

Kristen Evans,

Jason Harrison,

Deborah,

lollipop torrid,

and Electra livery.

We are ever appreciative

of your devotion to the order.

Go to the obsidian covenant.com to receive the sacrament.

Now, where were we?

Oh yes.

...