Looking For The One, Part 3: Reimagining Spinster

Dear Sugars

WBUR

Boston, Wbur, Sugar, Cheryl Strayed, Society & Culture, Dear, Relationships, Advice, Steve Almond

4.6 • 5.9K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2016

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The Sugars consider the way forward for their single letter writers. For many of the women they hear from, finding "the one" has become the all-consuming focus of their lives. The anxiety and the reality of their situations makes it hard for otherwise confident, successful women to esteem anything else. The Sugars are joined by the writer Kate Bolick, who suggests a new way of thinking about life as a spinster.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Dear Sugar is supported by...
0:07.2	The Universe has good news for the lost, lonely, and heart sick.
0:11.6	Sugar is here, the both of us, speaking straight into your ears.
0:17.0	I'm Cheryl Strait.
0:18.5	I'm Steve Almond. This is Dear Sugar Radio.
0:21.9	Oh dear, don't you please...
0:27.8	Yeah, some little sweet days with me.
0:34.8	I check my bell vibes every day.
0:42.8	Oh, and this sugar, you see in my way.
0:51.8	Hi, Steve.
0:52.8	Hi, Cheryl. How are you?
0:53.8	I'm anxious, of course, which is apropos to our...
0:56.8	Our part three of looking for the one or the loneliest number as we are calling this series.
1:02.8	Part one was a number of letters, a kind of Greek chorus of letters that were about women's anxieties about whether they were going to find the one.
1:09.8	And that first episode was our effort to interrogate with the help of the wonderful Lena Dunham.
1:14.8	The idea that you are supposed to find the one and how you might go about sorting out your anxieties about that,
1:20.8	the messages you receive from what you really want inwardly.
1:23.8	And then part two was an underlying anxiety and so many of these letters.
1:27.8	Well, what's it really like? I'm seeing scarcity as a woman in my late 20s or 30s or early 40s or whenever.
1:33.8	I am sensing that there are not a lot of men with whom I want to settle down.
1:38.8	So we talk with Paul Oyer, the Stanford economist, about what the reality of the dating and marriage marketplace was.
1:45.8	And I think you will agree, Cheryl, it was terrifying.
	...

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