I once heard someone say that if you're on your own and lonely, then you obviously don't like the

company you're in. And when listening to clients talk about their personal individual difference

between being alone and being lonely, that really does ring true. They can be in a group of people and still feel lonely because of the company they're in,

not just because their in-group isn't really connecting with them,

but because they're not really connecting with themselves either.

So when they are alone, they're no better or worse. They've been

forced to come face to face and spend time with someone that they just don't get on with

themselves. I'm not saying it's impossible to feel lonely if you like your own company,

of course, loneliness as many levels, but tackling this one first is key, I think.

Taking the time to get to know yourself as a person and learning to be okay with yourself is really, really important.

It's a self-respect thing.

And if you can get yourself talk right, if you can be good to yourself,

the benefits will mean that you enjoy your own company.

And so not feel threatened when you're alone.

And then the knock-on effect is that having

a good relationship with yourself allows you to create good relationships with other people too,

which is obviously a big part in dealing with those feelings of loneliness. Because that way,

you're not putting all your needs onto other people to provide you with a safe and loving experience.

You're providing that foundation for yourself.

And this takes quite a bit of practice, to be honest, spending time with yourself, being happy in your own company. But I urge you to

practice it before tackling any lifestyle changes. So start acting towards yourself the way that you

would towards somebody else if you weren't alone. Be a good friend to yourself because in treating ourselves

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