I'm Gretchen Ruben and this is a little happier. This video is brought to you by the Happiness Project.

The book that I wrote that got me started down my long road to happiness. I can't resist mentioning

the Happiness Project was a number one New York Times bestseller and was on the bestseller list for two

years. If you want to learn more about it, go to my website GretchenRubin.com. One thing that always

makes me very, very happy is when people find just the right thing to say. I've talked about this

before because I was collecting examples of when people know exactly what to say. I came across a

terrific example of this in a fantasy novel by Pierce Anthony called A Spell for Chameleon.

And in this novel, a character bank is into spare because he does not know what kind of magic

he possesses. So to find out, he goes to the Good Magician Humphrey. And the Good Magician Humphrey

will answer a question in exchange for a year's servitude. So, you know, it's a big ask.

And while he's there, Bink meets a mantakora who is almost at the end of its service. And this is

what they say. What question did you bring, Brink asks? I asked whether I have a soul the monster

said seriously. What did he tell you? That only those who possess souls are concerned about them.

But then you never needed to ask, you paid a year for nothing. No, I paid a year for everything.

A simple yes or no answer would not have satisfied me. It could have been a blind guess,

or merely the magician's offhand opinion. A detailed technical treatise would merely have

obfuscated the matter. Humphrey phrased it in such a way that its truth was self-evident.

Now I never need doubt again. And it seemed to me that first of all, this was the perfect answer.

And also that in many situations, the very concern about whether we possess some quality

suggests that we do have it. You know, it's probably the people who are already pretty good parents

who worry a lot about whether they're good enough parents. It's probably people who are

pretty good bosses already who spend a lot of time thinking about whether or not they're a good boss

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