I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier.

It's funny how the ideas and situations and references from childhood can reverberate

through our whole lives.

And I was reminded of this when a friend made a reference in a very grown-up conversation

to a picture book that dates from decades ago.

The book she alluded to was Russell Hoban's brilliant book, A Bargain for Francis, which

was one of the masterpiece Francis books.

And in it, Francis the Badger's friend, Felma, tricks Francis into making a bad bargain

with a T-set.

And in a thrilling moment of indication, Francis tricks her right back.

And when this happens, Felma says, well, from now on, I will have to be careful when

I play with you.

Francis replies, being careful is not as much fun as being friends.

Do you want to be careful or do you want to be friends?

That is a very powerful question.

And it came up in an adult context when a friend of mine had to break off a very important

business relationship because her partner had proved himself to be untrustworthy.

And I said to her, what was it hard to end things?

And my friend who knows me well enough to know that I would immediately grasp the illusion.

She said, being careful isn't as much fun as being friends.

And I decided that I couldn't work with someone if I knew I had to be careful.

And when we're thinking about the relationships in our lives, Francis' question can be very

...