You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

This week, Dan continues to respond to a listener question about how to engage a loved one

who is not willing to support the storywork they are pursuing.

Dan encourages us to reflect on the work we are doing, reflect on the experiences of others in our lives, and continue to offer kindness, truth, and invitation.

We left off with a question.

How do we live well with our own story and others when they, the other, could be spouse, could be a friend,

could be a parent, for whatever reason, does not have curiosity, goodness of commitment

to connect with us with regard to those elements.

The task, as we begin to ponder this, is to actually open up, well, what are we

talking about, not committed to dealing with? And I would say there's obviously a continuum between,

and I don't say at best, like it's a good thing, but a kind of indifference, somebody who,

like, you deal with your past, you dealt with your abuse, you know, you've owned up to the

relationship with your parents, your mother, bless you. Glad you've done it. I hope it's helpful.

But with that kind of, it's good for you,

but don't ask me to engage anything of the same with regard to my life. And so it isn't perhaps

indifference like I don't care about you, but with regard to that, I want to experience your suffering. I want to explore with

you the implications of that story to expand it so that we have a better sense of capacity for

creating the larger context of what's happening today to the past and to the future.

A person's just too busy or not in their mind

philosophical or psychological enough to engage like, I'm a simple guy. I don't think in those

kinds of thoughts. You know, I'm just, I'm sorry you've suffered. I'm glad you're growing, but don't ask me. When I say indifference in that sense,

it is a kind of not cold, not harsh, but a coolness with regard to their own engagement with their story.

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