Hey everyone, it's Allison. Today on the body's feed, I'd like to play you an

episode of a new podcast. It's called Appearances and it's by Sharon's Sheehi.

Appearances is a work of fiction, but it's closely based on Sharon's own life.

You may recognize Sharon's name as longtime story editor of Bodies.

Sharon is a brilliant storyteller and she's a big part of why bodies feel so intimate and powerful.

And so on a personal note I'm really excited to share her new show with you.

You're about to listen to episode 4 and here's what you need to

know about what's happened so far. The main character Melanie wants a baby. She's

a first-generation Iranian-American from a small Persian Jewish community, and in the eyes of her community

and family, she's a total weirdo. In the first couple episodes, we meet Melanie's on and off

again boyfriend, Paunch. They're considering

parenthood. Okay, here's the episode. Enjoy.

I want to talk again about my peeping Tom. The man I used to imagine was watching me through the

window all throughout my childhood. Why did I cling so hard to the idea of him.

On the one hand, we could say, I was a lonely kid and the peeping Tom was essentially just an imaginary friend. Some kids have Snoopy. I had Tom. But then I was

only eight years old and I chose as my imaginary friend, the anonymous male gaze.

Long before puberty I already needed to believe,

a man was watching my every move in order to feel legitimate.

I wish I could be more compassionate to my eight-year-old self.

I really do. But I find myself mad at her for having such

a low sense of self-worth, for setting us up for my current predicament,

where I am a straight woman who dates men

...