Hello kids, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share.

I'm Kevin Allyson, and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years.

Sometimes single stories, sometimes whole episodes, keep in mind that years ago people might have awarded things differently than they would today.

As always, the title of the whole series, Risk, is itself a content warning.

This week, an episode that first premiered in January of 2012, it's an episode we call, Lisa Lampinelli.

Hello kids, this is Extra Risk, where we give you just a little bit more of the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share.

I'm Kevin Allyson, and this is Botany, behind me now.

If you're new to the show, we have two types of episodes. There's our regular episodes that feature four or five stories that some are recorded on our live shows, some are cut together radio style, and then there's these episodes that we call Extra Risk, where we feature just one story or a conversation with a storyteller.

Today, we have the genuinely, lovely, Lisa Lampinelli on the show. Lisa calls herself an insult comic. She's known as the Queen of Mean. In person, she could not be cooler.

The two of us sat down, and we talked about a story she told at a Risk live show in New York last year, and the unedited version of that story is featured on our second All-Star episode.

That's available for $299 in our shop at risk-show.com or in the album section at iTunes.

But today, we're going to cut back and forth between pieces of that story, and myself and Lisa discussing it.

So without further ado, here's Lisa Lampinelli with a story we call the Seven-Tone Minimum.

When I used to work the comedy clubs in New York City, I would work this particular club, and I would always notice there was this old, old, model Cadillac that would circle the building every time I was there real slow with one guy inside.

So I pulled the owner, I said, hey, yeah, what's the deal? Who's that guy? Drive him by the club.

And he points to a headshot, but a pretty good-looking Italian guy on the wall holding a pencil. And he said, that's Big Frank.

He said, all right, a pencil. That's hot. He can write. That's an upgrade for Lisa Lampinelli.

So one night, the car finally stops and out walks this guy, and I realize why he'd call him Big Frank.

I am not lying to you. He was 400 pounds. Think about it, folks. That is 17 Sarah Jessica Parkers.

And I glance back at the headshot, and I'm like, holy shit, that ain't a pencil. That's a pool tube.

Guy is fucking fat. But you know what? Let's be honest, they're sloppy fat and they're sexy fat.

And Big Frank was that fuckable fat, you know? Because first of all, he always gave off that vine, but he was in the mob.

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