Lindy and Meagan are Full of Garmonbozia
Text Me Back! With Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays
Meagan & Lindy
4.9 • 746 Ratings
🗓️ 1 January 2026
⏱️ 79 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
HAPPY NEW YEAR, OLD MEN/NEW BABIES!
It is 2026 (jump scare) and your BBWs are slithering from their clammy shells after a season of stewing in their holiday juices. This is our final post-season rerun, and we cannot wait to return to your tender ears next week with a host of new resolutions and intentions. But in the meantime, you can Pre-Taped Call-In Show us at (703) 829-0003! What do you intend to do about 2026?
We also sincerely are so thankful for you and all our beautiful Patrons. Thank you for supporting us and getting us on a path to EXCELLENCE in 2026. If you want more of our nonsense, please consider joining our cute little cult over at Patreon.com/textmebackpod.
NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!
- Listen to our original Jingle Bells upsot episode in: Lindy and Meagan Están en La Biblioteca
- Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
- Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
- Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.
- ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
- ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
- Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:
“A favorite part of the show is when Lindy or Meagen (usually Meagen) says they're wrapping-up but a glance at the timestamp reveals there's like 35 minutes left! Bravo the rant about how the No Kings protests were absolutely do not need criticism; the handmaid's tale happened because that husband was secretly pleased; and how the Democratic Party needs to get their act together by being progressive. ‘You don't invite someone into the fold and then make them your leader.’ Yes! A genuine delight and so smart.”
YOUR AUNT SU-SU THANK YOU FOR SEEING US WE LOVE YOU
STUFF TO CHECK OUT:
- Meagan’s Super Secular Spectacular Xmas playlist
- Samin Nosrat’s roast chicken recipe
- Chrissy Teigen’s mac and cheese
- Temple Pastries Beef Wellington
- Electric toothbrushes
- Not too late to buy yourself a BBLS for BBWS tote! A perfect holiday gift for your favorite BBWs out there!
- Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
- Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
- NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
- Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
- Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON
- Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
- Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod
Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.
We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!
You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!
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TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice.
Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.
You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!
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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Oh my God. |
| 0:01.8 | Hello? |
| 0:02.6 | Hello. |
| 0:03.6 | I missed you. |
| 0:04.9 | Oh my God. |
| 0:06.0 | My friends. |
| 0:07.4 | Except don't get excited because this is not really a new episode. |
| 0:11.8 | We gotcha. |
| 0:15.3 | One thing I love to do is to trick our listeners. Yeah. |
| 0:20.9 | To feeling bad for being excited about the show. |
| 0:24.6 | Yeah. |
| 0:25.6 | Much like in the film Nightmare Before Christmas, we just combine Christmas and Halloween. |
| 0:31.6 | And it's trick or treat, but it's not a treat. It's a trick. |
| 0:34.6 | Here comes Halloween slash New Year's. You know what's a trip is like, |
| 0:40.6 | because, you know, Disney bought whatever, whoever, I don't know. Who knows? It hadn't even, |
| 0:45.8 | as the onion once put it, only six companies remain. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. |
| 0:51.8 | I think Unilever bought Pixar. |
| 0:56.5 | Yeah. |
| 0:57.6 | Somebody was getting mad at Chapel Rhone because she did a Mac cosmetics ad. |
| 1:03.3 | And the parent company of Mac is like Netanyahu boot lickers. |
| 1:09.2 | You know, and it's like the Estee Louder people love Netanyahu or something. |
| 1:14.1 | And everyone's like, oh, boycott chapel. |
... |
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