Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 8 - Erotomania, Revenge P__n, Transference)
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 9 December 2025
⏱️ 35 minutes
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Summary
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00:00 Erotomania
35:04 Sex crimes & stalking
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Deservent listeners, this is my next chapter in my deep dive on limerence. |
| 0:04.7 | My name is Dr. Kirk Honda. |
| 0:06.1 | I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:08.5 | So I wanted to start today's chapter by talking about erotomania, because for some of you |
| 0:14.6 | who know about erotomania, you might be thinking, isn't limerence the same as erotomania? |
| 0:20.1 | So in short, erotomania is when a |
| 0:22.9 | person becomes convinced that the other person is in love with them. So at first you might be thinking, |
| 0:28.4 | well, isn't that kind of an aspect of limerence that we've been talking about? Because remember, |
| 0:31.8 | the core of limerance is I'm defining it as I think a lot of other current experts are framing it. |
| 0:39.8 | And by a lot of experts, I'm talking about like a few because there aren't a lot of people |
| 0:45.0 | talking about this in the field. |
| 0:46.8 | But the core of it is that you have this fantasy that the other person is in love with you or is reciprocating when there's a lack |
| 0:59.3 | of evidence and you also get an addictive cycle that is perpetuated by these fantasies. |
| 1:07.6 | When you fantasize or when you misinterpret cues from the other person, you get this euphoric high, |
| 1:14.8 | like the highest high, like drug-like high. |
| 1:18.7 | And then with that recedes, then you slip into withdrawal and you are the depths of despair |
| 1:26.1 | and you're in this cycle. And it lasts for years and years and years |
| 1:29.8 | and years right it's not just for a week or a month something like that now can people experience |
| 1:35.3 | that experience when they're having a crush on someone or when they're falling in love with someone |
| 1:40.2 | in the first month or two yeah but i think what I would advocate for is that we use |
| 1:46.1 | the word limerates, especially when we're framing it as a pathology, which I think that it is, |
| 1:51.2 | that it's long term, it's self-sustaining, and it's akin to kind of like OCD or kind of like |
... |
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