Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 11 - Final Clarification)
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 16 December 2025
⏱️ 21 minutes
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Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 Revising the definition 08:06 Why does delineating matter?
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Deserving listeners, this is my next chapter on my deep dive on Limerance. |
| 0:05.7 | I thought I was done with my deep dive on Limerance, but I just talked to an expert in |
| 0:12.3 | Limerance, Dr. Tom Bellamy, and it gave me more confidence in my take and also helped me to clarify |
| 0:19.8 | some things. And I want to provide some |
| 0:25.6 | revisions to my terminology and my definitions. You know, it's an evolving process for me because |
| 0:33.9 | as I'm doing the deep dive, I'm learning more, I'm thinking more. |
| 0:40.3 | As I talk, also, it helps me to kind of walk through my own thinking. |
| 0:45.4 | So let's get into it. |
| 0:47.3 | My name is Dr. Kirk Honda. |
| 0:48.7 | I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:51.4 | So the episode that I recorded interviewing Dr. Tom Bellamy, who is the author of one of the |
| 0:58.7 | only books on Limerance called Smitten. Smitten. And he suffered from Limerance himself, |
| 1:05.1 | and he is a neuroscientist. So he has a lot of expertise and personal experience. So I recommend checking out his book. |
| 1:13.9 | The reason why I'm not publishing that interview before this episode is because he wanted me to |
| 1:21.6 | wait to publish his interview for when his book comes out next year, which we'll get into. So in a few months, |
| 1:29.2 | that episode will air, and by that point, his book will have come out. And you can, you can get |
| 1:34.8 | that in the United States anyway. I think that there's a different publishing date in the UK, |
| 1:40.3 | which is where he's from. But anyway, so I'm excited to talk about the following clarifications |
| 1:47.4 | because after talking to Dr. Tom Bellamy, I feel more grounded. As I was doing the deep dive |
| 1:58.5 | up until talking with him, I was absorbing a lot of the clinical literature, of which there isn't much, you know, but I was also absorbing a lot of the survey data and thinking about it myself and thinking about differentials and piecing together my understanding and also developing some models that further the current models. |
| 2:21.3 | And I was feeling like I was flying a little blind. |
| 2:26.3 | I was, you know, without any kind of safety net because I didn't know what other experts would think about the sort of stuff. |
... |
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