Life, unlike Minnesota traffic, is too short - #3011
The Tom Barnard Podcast
Complete Disaster Network
4.1 • 652 Ratings
🗓️ 15 May 2026
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The beginning of the show is a bit of a mess. That's what happens when the producer is stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. There's a silver lining, though. They say that no matter how long you live, you always want more time. But if you sit in stop and go traffic, time will stretch out for eons. Maybe the secret to eternal life is just making it feel like an eternity.
Topics:
Traffic on highway 12
Devil Wears Prada 2 blew out Mortal Kombat 2
In The Grey
Tim saw Marty, Life is Short
Loss of loved ones
Tim's dream
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | A support group for barely functioning adults. It's the Dave and Mahoney show. You know I dated a phone sex operator? Did she know that you were dating? They would have to go into like a call center, cubicles and stuff like that. Can you imagine having phone sex with some lonely guy while you're sitting in a cubicle? Do you think that it would make you more competitive? Did you have to ding the bell. Yeah, I got one. |
| 0:21.5 | He's done. |
| 0:23.1 | Oh my gosh. |
| 0:28.1 | Grab the Dave and Mahoney podcast now on Apple Podcasts on Spotify and at Dave and Mahoney.com. |
| 0:30.4 | Welcome to the Tom Bernard Family Podcast with co-host Catherine Brandt. |
| 0:34.2 | Alex Bradenard Rasmussen. |
| 0:36.0 | And Kristen Bert. |
| 0:37.1 | Kristen, we're going to have you for a whole 14 minutes today. |
| 0:39.3 | I know. |
| 0:40.3 | Welcome to a complete disaster. |
| 0:42.3 | Indeed. |
| 0:43.3 | Yep. |
| 0:44.3 | It's a Monday show on a Friday, you know? |
| 0:47.3 | I do not understand. |
| 0:49.3 | There must have been a massive accident. |
| 0:51.3 | That's what I said. |
| 0:53.3 | Or construction. No, not that law. That's what I said. Or construction. |
| 0:55.2 | Nah, not that long. |
| 0:57.2 | It's going to be interesting. |
| 0:58.6 | He said traffic is backed up for miles and miles and miles. |
| 1:02.4 | You remember Highway 12, don't you, Kristen? |
| 1:04.4 | I do. |
... |
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