My name is John Elmore, recovering alcoholic. I went to my first AA meeting, Oxaloxidonymous,

about this time 20 years ago. And I go to this meeting, I don't know what it was, like unmarked building. You know, people don't even use their last names in there. They introduce themselves. Like, hi, I'm Charlie P. So you're like, it's anonymous. That's what it is by nature. Well, my first meeting, I get done and this guy walks up to me, Charlie, and he said, hey,

if you're going to do this, you're going to need some help. I was like, oh, great. Amazing. This guy just enters into my life. That's going to be helpful. He's like, and I got you something. It's this book. and he hands this to me, the AA big book.

There was a problem with this big book,

so I'm in Alcoholics Anonymous. And he hands this to me, the AA big book. There was a problem with this big book.

So I'm in Alcoholics Anonymous, emphasis on Anonymous.

I look at this thing and I'm like, wait, are you kidding me?

It's like says Alcoholics Anonymous in this like glowing gold leaf debossed.

I'm like, get home, like, how am I going to, like, hide this

from my room? Are you kidding me? This is anything but anonymous. I could, like, signal a plane

if I was stranded on an island. Like, what couldn't you put a fake title on there? Like, you know,

advanced information for medical doctors who are also really good looking. Like, that would have a good covert book that I could like read in a coffee shop instead. It's like, is anything but anonymous? I didn't know much about it. I continue in this. And the first step, you know, I didn't know. It's like secret society. Well, the first step is admit that you're powerless over your addiction.

I'm like, check. Like, I don't need any help with that one. I'm powerless. Second step is that God's all powerful. I'm like, okay, make sense. Step three, so surrender your life and will to him. Like, trust him with everything. It was amazing. Like, that's when I became born again. I got on my knees, hit step three.

I'm like, Jesus, I've squandered everything you've given me.

Whatever I've left is yours. Then I hit steps four and five. It's a little tricky. There may be some regent people in the room. Yeah, it's hard. Steps four and five, it's hard, but it's good. Both can be true. So step four,

if you don't know, is to create a moral, fearless inventory of your life. You know,

like write down all your mistakes, all your sins, all your regrets, all the harms you've done to

others, all the angers and resentments and unforgiveness and sexual sin, like everything,

put it all down a sheet. I'm like, for like the last year, he's like, no, for your life. I'm like,

are you kidding me? So I've got pages and pages written down of all the sin that God would bring to

mind. Then step five is to sit and share that with another individual.

In my case, my sponsor from AA. I'll never forget this. Never. So 20 years ago, I drive to his house,

...